{"id":11146,"date":"2016-06-01T17:23:46","date_gmt":"2016-06-01T11:53:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/?p=7917"},"modified":"2025-10-06T15:45:11","modified_gmt":"2025-10-06T10:15:11","slug":"relationships-what-you-should-do-and-shouldnt-do-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourdost.com\/blog\/2016\/06\/relationships-what-you-should-do-and-shouldnt-do-2.html","title":{"rendered":"What You Should And Shouldn't Do In a Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve all had relationship problems, and everyone from your maid to your mother has an\u00a0advice for you on what you are doing wrong in your relationship. But here, we give you research backed findings on what you should do and should not do when it comes to your relationship with your significant other.<\/p>\n

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John Gottman, a professor emeritus at the University of Washington, and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, has published over 190 papers and authored more than 40 books, about relationships and marriage. He divides people into two categories, those \u2018good\u2019 at marriage and whose marriage works as \u2018Masters\u2019 and the others as \u2018Disasters\u2019.<\/p>\n

Here is what he has to say about what are the 4 red flags<\/strong> in a relationship:<\/h2>\n
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  1. Criticism:<\/strong> No one likes to be criticized, and we like it even less if the person criticizing us is our partner. Masters instead of criticizing, are self-deprecating and broach the topic of what they don\u2019t like very gently.<\/li>\n
  2. Defensiveness:<\/strong> The natural reaction to criticism is either defending yourself or acting like a helpless victim. Both are wrong, according to Gottman. While the Disasters did one of these two things, the Masters took responsibility for their actions and showed that they were interested in understanding what their partners were trying to tell them.<\/li>\n
  3. Contempt:<\/strong> Contempt means thinking your partner is inferior to you. In fact, as per Gottaman\u2019s research, contempt not only predicted divorce\u00a0but also had a bearing on the future infectious diseases and health of the couple.<\/li>\n
  4. Stonewalling:<\/strong> Stonewalling is indifference. It is either tuning out or not being concerned about what your partner thinks or has to say.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    \n

    If more women are guilty of criticism, more men are guilty of stonewalling.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Fortunately, Gottman\u2019s research also points us to what you should be doing to get it right in a relationship!<\/p>\n

    Here are the 3\u00a0things you must do to make your relationship work:<\/strong><\/h2>\n