“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing creates change you do choose”
– Michele Rosenthal
Irawati’s story begins with a traumatic event from childhood.
When I was a kid, I was sexually abused. It went on for almost 1.5 years.
So painful the memories of this must be that Irawati’s mind seems to have suppressed them and she can’t remember any of it. It took her over 15 years to begin her healing process.
15 years went by without me realising that something bad had happened to me.
So what changed? A major life event happened i.e she joined college.
Irawati, 25, is a PhD candidate at the prestigious IISc Bangalore, and had a very protected childhood with very strict parents. She describes college time as the first time she received any exposure to the outside world.
I started talking with people and that’s when I realised that many had gone through something similar, and it bothered them a lot. It had been very traumatic for them.
That’s when Irawati realized what she had gone through and she found it difficult to get it out of her head. Her childhood trauma hadn’t left her adulthood untouched. She describes her relationship with her parents as strained.
I have also been in multiple relationships. All of them failed eventually.
Coming to terms with her trauma further strained Irawati’s relationship with her parents and added to the list of issues that had been affecting her.
I just had all these questions that kept popping up in my head. My parents were there when it all happened. How come they didn’t notice? And if they did notice, why didn’t they do anything about it?
She also found herself unable to focus on her PhD work or for that matter anything else. Consequently, her self-confidence and self-esteem took a nosedive.
I couldn’t work, I couldn’t do anything. When I’m unable to do anything, I watch movies obsessively. I would always think that PhD might not be the right thing for me and I must be the worst person in the lab.
Unable to focus on her research work, with her confidence and self-esteem on a new low, things were bound to get overwhelming at some point for Irawati.
This is when she decided to approach YourDOST for professional counseling and psychotherapy. She connected with Psychologist, Mr. Naveen Kumar. In Naveen, Irawati found someone who would listen to her.
Instead of giving straight-up solutions, he kept asking me questions digging into different problems. The problems were after all interrelated, so we talked and talked.
Coming to terms with such a massive trauma after such a long duration is never easy. Often after her sessions, Irawati found herself overcome with anger. But accepting it as a part of her path to recovery, she kept going like an unstoppable force.
Feeling angry after having shared what’s on my mind is way better than just getting direct advice about what I should do or shouldn’t do without hearing me out.
Irawati can feel the difference that therapy is making but also acknowledges that there’s still a long way to go.
Most of us end up spending all our lives without knowing who we are. With Naveen’s help, I am getting to know myself better and that is a very important thing. We’re well on our way to understanding my problems which is a big step. But so is the next step, which is solving the said problems.
Irawati’s journey of healing continues with YourDOST and all we have for this warrior is respect, admiration and love.
Irawati has a few words of advice for others who’ve been through similar traumatic experiences.
Most of the time we think that whatever’s bothering us will go away if we give it time or talk to friends or a loved one. I’m not saying that doesn’t help. But like you would for any other issue, in this case too, go for professional help. You’ll receive good suggestions and solutions.
Would you like to start exploring these suggestions or solutions for yourself? We’re here to help. Connect with one of our Experts today.
Are you someone who has gone through a difficult phase and emerged stronger and better, with some professional help? Share your story with us to encourage thousands of others who might be struggling. Click here to submit your story.
Irawati’s Warrior Tips:
1. All problems are interrelated
2. It’s extremely important to understand yourself as a person
3. Professional help gets you great suggestions and solutions
