For several decades there has been a profounding debate regarding the belief that having a baby can help in improving a declining relationship. Even the happiest couples are sometimes strained and reach a “declining phase.” That’s when “have a child, everything will be solved” becomes the most common advice. But how effective is it?
In truth, having a child can add fulfillment to a relationship. But a baby cannot turn a bad relationship into a good one. A baby cannot alter personality traits nor improve the connection but it is likely to worsen relationships.
The common queries, while a baby is born, are: How much did s/he weigh? What time was s/he born? Is s/he healthy? What would you name her/him? But the most important question which should be asked even before making the transition to parenthood is how is the relationship between the parents?
The study by Bringing Baby Home Program proves that 67% of new parents experience conflicts. When there are already conflicts and differences won’t having a baby further worsen the relationship?
Cowan and Cowan state “we can conclude with some confidence that the transition to parenthood constitutes a period of stressful and sometimes maladaptive change for a significant proportion of new parents.”
If babies are born for the sake of relationships, it puts a lot of pressure on the child to make them happy. When the relationship between parents is conflicting the child can also be severely affected by the unpleasant atmosphere. Parents too may be less satisfied than non-parents as having a child further creates more responsibilities. A child may serve as a barrier to separation but not to dissatisfaction.
To improve a relationship simple steps like identifying the actual cause, building a friendship, decreasing the communication gap can be followed. Certain changes in life can bring temporary conflict and chaos a relationship, but by using friendship as a strong foundation, couples can make their relationship stronger.
